Yet another use for...

Duct tape! Check it out! The ivy is actually taped to the wall! This is at the Days Inn in downtown Asheville,NC. Not the spiffiest hotel I've been in, but a place to sleep and shower nonetheless.

Anyway, for those wondering how to train ivy to climb a wall, study the example above.

An Irish toast...

May those that love us, love us;
and to those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,
may He turn their ankles
so we'll know them by their limping.

Creative Office Quips...

1. Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and simplistic world-view.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

4. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

5. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

6. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?!?

7. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

8. I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, my duties are largely ceremonial.

13. How about never? Is never good for you?

14. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

15. You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication.

16. You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

HUH?

People suffering from paraskavedekatriaphobia, the fear of Friday the 13th, can now relax for a while. They won't have to deal with another Friday the 13th until next February

Fresh Puppy Meat

Dude! This is not mainstream as far as I know. Wonder if it tastes like chicken? I had no idea you could order dog meat (and cat for that matter) online. Is PETA making a stink about this?

Get your fresh puppy meat here.

Apparently in China, they're trying to save face. No dog meat during the Olympics. I guess they did the same thing in 1988 in Korea, too.

Things that make ya go "Hmmmmm?"

You gotta be kiddin me!

Out for 4 hours and this is what I get. Be warned, bucket mouths. I will get you. By hook or by ... Crook...creek...sumthin like that. You're mine. Be afraid, be very afraid.